Friday, October 1, 2004

Next week, the 9/11 Recommendations Implementation Act will come up for a vote in the House of Representatives, and with it provisions for the legalization of the practice called extraordinary rendition - the transfer of prisoners to foreign countries for the purposes of torturing them. The Medium Lobster, like the Justice Department, stands fully behind the practice - after all, we must "better secure our borders and protect the American people from terrorists," and how better to do that than by shipping maybe-terrorists off to Saudi Arabia to have their fingernails pulled out?

Alas, not all are so enlightened as the Medium Lobster. This critical new tool for our justice system has been condemned by the American Bar Association, the 9/11 commission, and the United States Congress of Catholic Bishops. Massachusetts Democrat and torture obstructionist Edward Markey has written a letter to George W. Bush asking him for his position on the extradition of torture:
Just yesterday a newspaper quoted a Justice Department spokesperson as saying that the Department supported thses provisions. In light of your strong statement against torture and the Justice Department's apparent endorsement of the provisions, I respectfully request your views on Sections 3032 and 3033 of H.R. 10. In light of the impending House floor vote on this bill on the week of October 4th, I request that you please let the Congress know now--before the vote--where you stand on this issue, before we take up and approve a provision that would legitimize the outsourcing of torture to other countries.
The Medium Lobster is in agreement. George Bush should come out - in favor of torture. To this end, the Medium Lobster has written George W. Bush the following letter:
President Bush:

Next week Congress will vote on the 9/11 Recommendations Implementation Act of 2004, Sections 3032 and 3033 of which will legalize sending "suspected terrorists" to other countries which practice torture. The Medium Lobster commends the foresight of House Speaker Dennis Hastert and the Republican House leadership, who have inserted these measures into the bill and have fought to prevent Democrats from removing or changing these sections, for torture is necessary to protect the American people from terrorists, and how can protecting the American people from terrorists be wrong?

However, these provisions must not be passed in the dark. If we are to embrace torture, we must do so openly and without hesitation, and as both the commander-in-chief and as the leader of the party which has taken this bold step, only you can embrace it. George Bush, in the defense of the United States you have donned the mantle of a War President and of a Peace President. It is time for you to become the Torture President.

Since shipping suspects off to second-tier Axes of Evil to be beaten and electrocuted is the just thing - no, the noble thing - no, the necessary thing, for why else would it be in so critical a piece of legislature as the bill intended to protect America from the next 9/11? - this policy must be endorsed, publicly, by the President himself. Call a press conference, announce it on every television network, hold a Rose Garden ceremony with yourself, Speaker Hastert and the half-dozen drugged and bleeding Muslims of your choice. Let the world know that America stands for freedom, and freedom stands for torture. If you did any less, how could you live with yourself?

Most sincerely,
The Medium Lobster
posted by the Medium Lobster at 6:05 PM



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