Wednesday, October 27, 2004
"The moon is eclipsed!" says Giblets runnin into the room. "Omens and calamities! Signs and portents!"
"Is this a sign or a portent?" says me. "I gotta mark the right one down in my portent-watchin book."
"An eclipsed moon is a sign," says Giblets. "It signifies changes and shifts and things to come, just like in the Bible!"
"Is the Bible a sign or a portent?" says me.
"A portent," says Giblets. "The Bible is very portentious but not very significant. The eclipsed moon is so significant that its surface is entirely populated by signifiers!"
"I can't tell what they signify," says me. "I've lost my interpretant. It was scared away by the sign."
"It should be!" says Giblets. "The signs mean things - great and terrible things! Omens and miracles and dogs marrying cats and goats born with two heads, stars and moons and green clovers! Dark things to come! There's a wolf at the door! There's a bear in the woods!"
"Maybe the bear will eat the wolf," says me. "Then we can all settle down and get a pizza with the bear!"
"Your commie bear cannot save you now!" says Giblets. "Wolves are the piranha of the forest. They can skeletonize a cow in under thirty seconds!"
"And the bear is the cow of the forest," says me. "Which is why forest-farmers milk bears for honey - or as it is technically known, hunny."
"Your forest farmers will be helpless before the onslaught of moon-wolves!" says Giblets. "They will fatten themselves on hunny and come prowling for us!"
"I think we can outrun fat portents," says me. "But I'm not sure about fat signs." To test this I start feedin ham to a Bible.
"Your fat books can't save us from portents!" says Giblets. "Only another sign can do that."
"I've only got this llama," says me. "Is a llama a sign or a portent?"
"A llama is neither a sign nor a portent!" says Giblets. "It signifies nothing but llama!"
"Then we are helpless before their power," says me. "Their power to mean stuff."
"There is nothing to do but wait and watch," says Giblets.
"Watch television," says me. "It is rich with knowledge and advertising."
"Advertising is a sign AND a portent!" says Giblets.
"I'm gettin the pizza," says me. "The bear can have mushrooms on its half."
posted by fafnir at 9:56 PM