Thursday, October 21, 2004
I was lookin at J. M. Leen's The Two Americas the other day an ponderin the tragedy of our divided nation.
"I wish our country wasn't so bitterly divided," says me. "Then we could join hands together in peace insteada makin effigies to burn."
"Impossible!" says Giblets. "Because half of us are absolutely right an half of us are absolutely wrong!"
"But Giblets we should be able to respect each other's absolute wrongness," says me. "For example right now you're makin that ugly effigy of John Kerry to burn, which is hurtful an mean-spirited. But I'm makin my George Bush effigy to reflect his strong leadership an quiet heartland values so when he burns he burns with pride."
"Well my effigy's French beret is just to help him burn better," says Giblets. "You wouldn't want him to burn slow would you?"
"No I guess that would be cruel," says me.
Did you know that if a Red Stater and a Blue Stater come into contact they will explode an leave behind only a trace of purple goo? It's true! But there is hope. That purple goo can grow up to be a swing vote.
There is more hope. There is hope in bipartisan healing which can still heal the Terrible Divisions an prevent the elections (an the recounts an the e-voting crashes an the court challenges) from breaking our great nation into a thousand tiny warring factions. "Aww," says Giblets puttin down his AK-47. "Giblets wanted a faction all his own."
Democrats, say somethin nice about a Republican!1 Republicans, say somethin nice about a Democrat!2 Libertarians, say somethin nice about some function of the government!3 Greens, say somethin nice about the "corporate duopoly"!4 Naderites, do not vote for Nader!5
Me an Giblets have joined our burnin effigies hand in hand. Feel the bipartisan healing! Look deeply at the Other you had scorned but have now embraced. Deeply. Deeeeeeply. Embrace. An come to understand that in the warming light of universal peace an harmony we are all God's children.
Now punch im in the face over an over an over again! Now you're ready for the election!
1. who isn't John McCain or Lincoln Chafee
2. who isn't Joe Lieberman or Zell Miller
3. that isn't a "night watchman" function
4. without gratuitous use of the word "fascist"
5. no, seriously, don't vote for Nader
posted by fafnir at 8:56 AM