Saturday, October 16, 2004

So some a you may not've noticed but the Red Sox have been playin the Yankees!

"Hooray!" says me wavin a bipartisan foam finger. "May the best team win."
"Nooooo!" says Giblets. "The Yankees suck and shall be doomed - ONE DAY - by a RIGHTEOUS GOD in whom Giblets believes VERY DEEPLY - to an eternity of HELLFIRE!"
"But Giblets how can the Yankees suck if they have beaten the Red Sox so many times?" says me.
"That is not what sucking means!" says Giblets. "Sucking is a moral property! It does not reflect what the Yankees have done but what the Yankees intrinsically are. And they are intrinsically evil and suck!"
"I am not sure about your theory of sucking Giblets," says me. "I always believed sucking was reducible to natural properties such as double-parkin your car or stiffin your roommate on rent or leavin in Pedro Martinez for too long."
"No!" says Giblets. "Sucking is an objective irreducible moral property an we can intuit when sucking is present! It is an objective moral truth that the Yankees suck!"
"But Giblets why would so many sucky Yankees be beloved by so many New Yorkers?" says me. "An why would so many sucky Yankees be rewarded with so many pennants?"
"There is no such thing as suckical subjectivity!" says Giblets. "The Yankees suck no matter how much society has approved of and rewarded their sucking!"
"Maybe objective sucking does not really exist," says me. "An we are makin false statements when we say that a team sucks or rules."
"How can you say sucking doesn't exist!" says Giblets. "That would mean George Steinbrenner could not suck!"
"It's true that we want to say that George Steinbrenner sucks," says me. "But maybe when we say he sucks we're just expressin our very strong emotional dislike of George Steinbrenner for bein a bastard an firin Billy Martin five times."
"Well Giblets does not want to live in a world without laws of objective truth!" says Giblets. "A world where the Yankees don't suck is a world of celestial anarchy!"
"An where does the curse come in Giblets?" says me.
"It is God's mighty test to us," says Giblets. "His ways are strange an mysterious an cruel an we cannot fathom them but one day - one day! - he will reward us with the World Series an a seat at the right hand of the Father. Or else it is a curse laid on us by Babe Ruth an it won't go away until we exhume an desecrate his corpse with arcane rituals."
"Is that why we've got the shovels an the wooden stake?" says me.
"Yes," says Giblets. "And now we dig."

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posted by fafnir at 10:58 AM




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