Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Giblets was outraged to learn that he had lost Vladimir Putin's endorsement of the presidency to George Bush! Putin is a hot new up-and-comer whose free-speech-squelching and authoritarian consolidation of power are almost enough to make Giblets proud, and his credentials on fighting terrorists are impeccable: who knows more about fighting a war on terror than a guy who incited one by launching an unprovoked scorched-earth war on an Islamic republic?

But don't think George Bush has the evil dictator vote all sewn up! See who has just endorsed Giblets!
"Giblets is strong! Giblets is powerful! His sword shall lay open the belly of his foes, and his armies shall march on the bones of his enemies! He shall be like a wall of iron before the terrorists, and shall shatter them with a thousand blows! Giblets shall slay Osama bin Laden, enslave his children, raze his cities to the ground, and sieze his women as his own! Vote for strength! Vote for power! Vote for Giblets! Or die by his hand!"
- Ghengis, Khan of the Mongol Horde

"Hail Giblets! The gods have selected him as their divine instrument of delicious vengeance, and through them he shall obliterate all the enemies of the empire! To oppose him is sacrilege; to defy him is to risk annihilation at the hands of the terrorists, who lie ready to pour swarming from the celestial womb of chaos at his first pronouncement! Oh my lovelies, vote for Giblets!"
-Caligula, Emperor of Rome
You can keep Arafat, John Kerry! George Bush, you can crawl away with Putin, Iyad Allawi and Pervez Musharraf! Giblets has the hottest dictators around!

(links via Edward Underscore - damn you Edward Underscore! - and Gary Farber - damn you Gary Farber!)
posted by Giblets at 11:16 AM



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