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Sunday, October 10, 2004
 So today I'm supposed to be in the swing state of Ohio reportin from the swing state of Ohio observin all its swing state dynamics an of course cause a Reporter Authenticity an other big important stuff actually coverin this story from the actual swing state of Ohio only I couldn't do that today on accounta there's a real big dog outside tryin to eat me. "Do you think John Kerry's debate performance has helped him in Ohio dog?" says me to the dog through the screen door. The dog goes "HRARL HRARL HRARL" fulla huge horrible angry Fafnir-eatin slobber an I run an hide in the couch. There is so much anger in the dog. Divided partisan anger like in the swing state of Ohio. I wasn't plannin on interviewin the dog today but I had to yell for the dog to chase away the cat that woulda run off with me an I had to lure the cat to scare off the birds who mighta used me to fashion a nest for their young. This is pretty much what happened in Borneo back in the fifties. An in a sense it is what is happenin to Ohio. Who let the dogs out, Ohio? The dogs of division an electoral politics an farm subsidies? An will those undecided dogs lean closer to a Bush vote or a Kerry vote? I am sure I could answer all those questions an more if there wasn't a huge dog standin on my porch."Can George Bush win without Ohio this year dog?" says me. "HRARL HRARL HRARL" it goes again. There's also a lotta teeth an fleas in the dog. Teeth an fleas like in the swing state of Ohio. The first candidate to calm down this dog will probably not affect the election much one way or another. But I'll give him like ten bucks.
posted by fafnir at 6:54 PM
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