Wednesday, October 13, 2004
"Is Roe v Wade our Dred Scott?" says me. "Have we enslaved the fetus?"
"Nonsense!" says Giblets. "Giblets pays his fetuses decent pay for decent work."
"But Giblets those fetuses can't really live off what you pay them," says me. "Some a them have to work two or three jobs just to feed their families."
"Giblets gives his fetuses plenty of perks!" says Giblets. "They get half hour lunch breaks and Fetus Appreciation Days and complimentary paper clips and mugs with amusing slogans like You Don't Have To Be Crazy To Be Unborn Here But It Helps."
"But those are all part-time or temporary fetuses," says me. "You aren't givin em health or disability benefits. Where is the culture of life? Where is the culture of livin wage?"
"You can't force Giblets to raise the cost of fetus labor!" says Giblets. "That is a violation of the sacred constitutional right to free enterprise! Keep your laws off Giblets's business!"
"But you must respect the rights of the fetuses you employ," says me. "For he who would be no slave must be content to have no slave."
"Indeed," says Abraham Lincoln.
"Aaaah! Zombie Lincoln!" says us an we pump im fulla lead.
"Do you think the dead will ever be given the full rights of the living, Giblets?" says me after we finish burning Zombie Lincoln.
"Man I hope not," says Giblets. "How could we keep using them, then?"
posted by fafnir at 4:54 PM