Monday, September 27, 2004
"They say they might make flyin cars," says me. "It might solve the problem of ground-based traffic accidents by relocatin them to the sky!"
"Very true," says Giblets. "But Giblets is not interested in that. How cool will these flyin cars be? Will they be Back to the Future cool or merely Jetsons cool?"
"We must make our world a cool world," says me. "I have always thought it is important to leave this world a little more entertaining than it was when we found it."
"Which is why Giblets has agreed to kill Joan and Melissa Rivers," says Giblets. "For the sake of the children."
"The children are our future Giblets but will they be cool enough for our future?" says me. "Or should we make new an improved clone children for a bold new future of newness?"
"Yes!" says Giblets. "When cloning is legal Giblets will be able to finally give the world the one gift it has wanted of him: more Gibletses! Giblets shall create a thousand-strong army of loyal Gibclones who will serve in Giblets's Castle of Gibletses and adhere to Giblets's every instruction as only another Giblets could!"
"But Giblets," says me "how do you know that your Gibclones would not rebel and seize power to become their own Gibletses?"
"Impossible!" says Giblets. "My Gibclones would have to obey me by dint of my status as the One True Giblets, the Primum Giblete!"
"But your clones would be too ambitious Giblets," says me. "They would all go 'Giblets we are tired a bein second-tier Gibletses! We reject your First Giblethood an claim it for our own hooray for us we are Giblets!'"
"Then I would fight them off an defeat them!" says Giblets. "My shining force of Gibletosity would repel them an I would conquer the castle once again!"
"You can't Giblets," says me. "They have the strength of a thousand Gibletses an you are overwhelmed by their Gibletsness."
"Then I call on my Praetorian Gibletses!" says Giblets. "My special guard of Superclones of Giblets!"
"But they have betrayed you too," says me. "An worse they are all fightin with each other goin 'I wanna be Giblets' an 'No I will be Giblets' an 'Bow to SuperGibClone! Bow to SuperGibClone NOOOOW!'"
"Those lousy clones!" says Giblets. "Where did they get such insolence!"
"It is hard to say," says me. "It may be a side effect a bein so new an cool."
"I will escape from them with my rocket ship," says Giblets. "My rocket ship which is also a car an whose engine makes cool jazz insteada engine noise."
"Your rocket ship jazz car will not take you," says me. "You also made it a Giblets clone to increase its Gibletsiness an now it is in rebellion."
"Aaaa! Why did I do that?" says Giblets.
"To make it even cooler," says me.
"Damn me an my incredible brilliance!" says Giblets. "Now Giblets's hopes are dashed!"
"No they aren't!" says me. "I show up to rescue you in the Fafcar!"
"Y'mean the bus?" says Giblets.
"It is a really cool bus," says me. "It is a bus of tomorrow."
"The bus is lame," says Giblets.
"I don't think you give the bus nearly as much credit," says me. "It's this kinda thinkin that got you kicked outta your castle of Gibclones."
"Stupid Gibclones," says Giblets. "I miss my castle."
posted by fafnir at 10:17 AM