Sunday, September 12, 2004
We think Chris is broken. He's kinda layin on the floor makin funny gurglin noises an mumblin to himself.
"Get up Chris!" says me. "You have to go to work!"
"Very true," says Giblets. "This is not your commie Labor Day when you rest an celebrate bein lazy. It is Laborin Day an you must labor!"
Chris gurgles some more. It is alright this is a normal reaction.
"Chris if you do not go to work Jesus will not reward your Protestant Work Ethic," says me.
"Yes you will never impress Jesus by lyin meekly on the floor there gurglin," says Giblets. "You must toil an sweat! Your productivity makes Jesus happy."
"An then when you die you can get into Protestant Work Heaven!" says me. "Where you will stitch an package athletic shoes for ten cents an hour for export to various parts of the world."
"But if you work hard enough an long enough you will get noticed," says Giblets. "Like if Jesus drops his wallet some time an you're like 'hot damn Jesus's wallet' but insteada rippin off Jesus you give im back his wallet."
"An Jesus is so impressed with your simple minded honesty an your can-do spirit that he lets you marry his pretty daughter an you become vice-president of the company!" says me.
Chris does not seem to have absorbed our advice. He is still lyin in a corner makin funny noises.
"Maybe he is broken," says me.
"This is what you get for bein lazy at work Chris!" says Giblets.
"Maybe we should poke im with sticks," says me. "I bet that would help."
So we poke im with sticks for the rest a the day.
posted by fafnir at 11:16 AM