Saturday, September 18, 2004

Today I was sittin in the bathroom about to brush my teeth like usual when James Dobson's Focus on the Family runs in all important-like an says "Stop! Crest toothpaste tacitly supports gay marriage!"

"It's true!" says Giblets. "Our toothpaste is gay!"
"Crest toothpaste have you been hidin this all along?" I says to the toothpaste. "Why didn't you tell us? We would still love you, we are your consumers."
"Giblets will not have gay toothpaste livin under his roof!" says Giblets. "Buyin gay toothpaste is unnatural. Giblets has been told that it violates the sanctity of buyin stuff!"
"Giblets this is a time to be supportive," says me. "Besides many of our products are probably gay includin Lemon-Fresh Dawn an Pringles."
"Not Pringles!" says Giblets. "Has the insidiousness of Gay so polluted consumer culture that once Giblets pops he cannot stop - without consuming the homosexual political agenda? Giblets must protect his precious commercial fluids!"

It looks like this is gonna be another heartbreakin story of torn families in our divided nation. But I for one am gonna reach out to my soap an potato chips an try my best to understan them.
posted by fafnir at 1:56 AM




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