Monday, September 6, 2004

You cannot stop them. You cannot resist them. They are relentlessly marchin in your direction and there is nothing you can do to wave off the delicious mechanized onslaught of the frozen pot pies.

These pies have not been baked by man or God or nature. They have been constructed in a huge smoke-spewin factory by powerful powerful robots. Trees an hills an oceans are slurped up by their giant mechanical arms an stuffed into furnaces for fuel. "Oh no!" say fish an wildlife. "Our oceans!" But no one can stop the relentless an powerful powerful robots from their tasty an terrible duty.

Rollin out of the factories come thousands of tiny identical frozen pies. Some have chicken or somethin that tastes just like chicken. Some have beef or somethin that tastes just like beef! They climb down from the factory into the city into your neighborhood an just like that into your grocer's frozen food section where they are waitin patiently for you to taste their synthetic scrumptiousness.

Some do not like the frozen pies. "They are not real pies!" they say. "They are cold an unpielike! They are takin our pies' jobs! They are made of coal an textiles!" But the frozen pies do not respond. They sit in their molded pie tins, ready at a moment's notice to spring into action and be efficiently delicious. You cannot stop them. You cannot resist them.


posted by fafnir at 4:03 PM



about Fafnir
about Giblets
about the Medium Lobster
about Fafblog

fafblog of christmas past

the whole world's only source for archives

world of piefablesdissatisfactiongreat moments in history

posts most likely to succeed

mostly blogosaurs

Fafshop! the whole world's only source for Fafshop.

Powered by Blogger Site Meter