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Thursday, September 2, 2004
Giblets was pretty happy to hear that the Republicans were gonna talk about the future in their convention, insteada lookin' at the past like those moldy ol' Democrats. What would the big bold plans be for the next Bush administration? They could not possibly be as big or as bold as Giblets's - but then again whose could! - but would they be big enough or bold enough to moderately impress him? Probably not but whose could, again I am Giblets!*
But the Republican plan for the next four years is big and bold, as Giblets can tell from listening to speeches by Zell Miller and Dick Cheney. The main policy initiative of a second Bush term would be - and Giblets may be reading between the lines a little here - to build a huge government sponsored time machine, use it to travel back to the past, and kill John Kerry before he is even born! Giblets must admit - he is intrigued! But will the GOP really be able to follow-through will such a bold strategy or will they go for something a little more centrist like sending George Bush back in time to impregnate John Kerry's mother so that John Kerry is born less offensively Kerrylike and more Bushlike? That would be less bold but more logistically complicated. How for example doe George Bush plan to seduce Mrs. Kerry? Does Dick Cheney plan to impregnate John Edwards's mother as well? Giblets has many questions. Do George Bush and the Republican PArty have the answers? Giblets had better find out tonight. *Extending Fourteenth Amendment rights to fetuses while denying them to gays, HA! Giblets will extend FIRST Amendment rights to sperm and ova and deny the right of habeas corpus to all but Giblets and descendents of Giblets!
posted by Giblets at 10:29 AM
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