Thursday, August 19, 2004
Well I just found this story by way of Balloon Juice (one of the finest kindsa juice) an it has us dismayed over at Fafblog.
"I am dismayed because that little girl cannot eat the wafer," says me. "Without the wafer she will never get her recommended daily allowance of Jesus."
"Giblets is not concerned with the heartless exclusionary legalism of the Catholic hierarchy!" says Giblets. "Giblets is concerned because it clearly states that only unleavened wheat can turn into parts of Jesus! We have been workin with leavened flour!"
"But we have to Giblets," I says pointin at the nicely molded Jesus dough. "Otherwise our Jesus Bread-Golem will not rise when we bake him."
"But what is the point of bakin a Jesus if the priest we get cannot turn him into a real Jesus?" says Giblets. "We will just have a huge, useless, tasty, fresh, bready Jesus sittin in our oven!"
"But surely God will want to transubstantiate our bread Jesus," says me. "It is our best plan yet for bringin Jesus back."
"God can't make regular bread into Jesus! It is against the Jesus code!" says Giblets. "I told you we should have brought Jesus back as Cyborg Jesus. We have the technology. We can rebuild him!"
"We cannot afford the technology," says me. "It is like the time we tried to build Mecha-Jesus an could only buy one mechanical Jesus toe."
"We would have already had a functioning Jesus Clone if it wasn't for you gettin the wrong Shroud of Turin," says Giblets.
"The Pope tole me it was genuine Jesus blood!" says me.
"An now we are stuck with Crazy Templar Guy in our basement," says Giblets.
There is an eerie Latin moanin comin up from underneath.
"I think he is hungry," says me. "He wants more soup an Byzantine gold."
"Man," says Giblets, "I hate Crazy Templar Guy."
posted by fafnir at 2:17 PM