Thursday, August 12, 2004
Journalists work hard many days a week to bring us crucial stories about the unfoldin world around us, such as what is happenin to Kobe Bryant? Has Kobe Bryant been charged yet? Is Kobe Bryant's accuser a slut or a ho, legally speaking? Are there any problems with electronic votin? No? Okay then sign me up! Bu do we really appreciate our press corps enough? I got to talk with two of the creamiest of the crop to kick off Interview Week: Tim Russert an Robert Novak.
FAFBLOG: So! How's journalism?
TIM RUSSERT: Oh, journalism endures, Fafnir! It remains the ever-vigilant guardian of Democracy, ready to shine a light on corruption and scandal wherever it lurks!
ROBERT NOVAK: But journalists are another story! Journalists are in a terrible state, Fafnir!
FB: Oh no! What has happened to make your lives so terrible Robert Novak?
NOVAK: We members of the Fourth Estate are now being persecuted by the Justice Department - and all for the "crime" of telling the truth!
RUSSERT: ...about an active CIA officer's identity in order to smear her husband's reputation.
FB: Well that is a terrible injustice! You can't ever make a reporter give up his sources!
RUSSERT: You certainly can't, Fafnir. It's a sacred bond between a journalist and the the sleazy anonymous political hacks who use that journalist to push their agenda while breaching federal law.
FB: I never realized exposin national security secrets was so noble.
RUSSERT: We don't just get up every day thinking "How can we suck dry the teat of our high-placed connections to earn a cheap buck?", Fafnir. We think, "How can we suck dry the teat of our high-placed connections to earn a cheap buck... for TRUTH?"
NOVAK: There's some political hackery in there too.
FB: Wow. I wish I could be a real journalist like you guys!
RUSSERT: Oh, journalism isn't for the faint of heart, Fafnir. You gird your loins every day only in the cloth of justice, and the only thing you've got coming to you is a lot of scorn, a lot of enemies, a ton of money, TV appearances, book deals, a promotional boys' club that props up everything you do...
NOVAK: And the work. You've gotta get right in the thick of it. Some days you'll get a call from the White House giving you something to write, and other days the phone won't ring - and you'll have to just make stuff up on your own!
FB: Aw man! I could never handle that. Now you have become part of this Valerie Plame story that you are also reportin on. How do you as objective journalists deal with that?
RUSSERT: The same way we'd deal with anything else, Fafnir. This Sunday on "Meet The Press" I'm going to give myself a full hour-long interview, and believe me, I'm not going to hold back. I'm giving myself the full Russert ambush-style treatment. When it's over, I may emerge bloodied and savaged, but at least I'll have gotten closer to the real story.
NOVAK: And I plan to write a column about John Kerry's "Holiday in Cambodia" story! I mean, come on! Everybody knows there was no U.S. involvement in Cambodia!
FB: That's so true! Pol Pot was a kind of spicy mushroom dish I think. So are you both ready to go to prison resistin justice department subpoenas?
RUSSERT: Um. Not exactly... BUT I'm NOT going to appear before the grand jury and I'm NOT going to disclose information that was provided to me in confidence!
NOVAK: Uh, you'll have to ask my lawyer.
FB: Well it has been an amazin privelege to speak to you gentlemen.
RUSSERT: Yes it has!
NOVAK: God, I'm bored. Anyone want the location of a couple dozen nuclear missile silos?
FB: I would be honored sir.
NOVAK: I'll give 'em to you for five thousand bucks. And a book deal.
FB: I got... three bucks.
posted by fafnir at 3:25 PM