Monday, August 9, 2004
It is good to see you all here at this post supporting Giblets. Giblets is a good Giblets. Giblets is a great Giblets! Giblets has been a strong and steady Giblets and will continue to lead you to great and mightily Gibletsian things in the future!
To your right - a picture of a man in a hot dog costume. Continue to choose Giblets and more such riches await you. But first you must bow before Giblets. Bow before Giblets NOOOOOW!
Your bowing has been sufficient! You are aware that terrifying evildoers lurk throughout the world seeking to destroy the Gibletsian way of life. Our nation of Giblets-worshipers is in danger. In danger from huge invisible crawly things with pincers and snakes and bombs. And only Giblets can protect you from them. Protect you with my strong steady leadership.
There are some anti-Gibletsian hatemongers who would oppose Giblets. They hate Giblets for being a mighty leader. They have said "We are tired of being strong and steady and safe. We would prefer a policy of wimpy namby-pambiness." Well Giblets will not roll over and let hs rights and freedom get trampled by evil invisible crawly things who menace Gibletsia at every turn. Giblets will only accept his rights and freedoms being trampled by things and people who look and sound like Giblets.
To your left - a picture of a giant terrifying pineapple.
To prove what a great job Giblets is doing protecting you from dark unspeakable evil, Giblets announces that his latest tip has come from a double agent buried deep within enemy ranks named "Fafnir" who has just begun giving us tons of weighty and vital information. See how well Giblets protects you? Bow before his strong leadership!
I said BOW! I do not see you bowing! I see you staring at a computer screen eating a bag of chips! BOW BOW BOW BOW BOW!
Better. You may continue intermittant bowing for the duration of the post.
Lastly and most importantly, we must always remember to - you there! With the "NO WAR FOR GIBLETS" sign! You are in violation of your loyalty oath! Guards! Seize him! Seize him NOOOOOOW!
posted by Giblets at 2:39 PM