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Thursday, July 1, 2004
In Giblets's opinion, there's nothin' like that old time religion. Witch-hunts, cross-burnings, fatwas, an inquisition or two - that's some sexy theology there. So Giblets was pretty excited to see that aspiring Christian Ayatollah James Dobson sent out a mass email to his supporters publishing Michael Moore's home address and urging them to "let
Moore know exactly what they think" at Moore's home. Giblets can see why Christians like Dobson would be pretty hot to stick it to Moore. After all, he is, as Dobson says, "so quick to criticize capitalism," and if Giblets remembers his New Testament correctly, capitalism is one of the chief virtues mentioned in the Sermon on the Mount: Blessed are the rich, for they will receive enormous tax cuts, the benefits of which may eventually trickle-down to the middle- and lower-class. (Shmark 3:16)And of course there was Jesus's words of wisdom regarding the rich in Heaven: It is as easy for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God as it is for a poor man to be trampled by his camel. (Bluke 12:21)'Course, Dobson might also be hitting back at Moore for his last movie's bashing of the NRA. Giblets also understands that Jesus was a huge gun nut. Now some people seem to think that targeting Moore at his house where his wife and kids sleep is "un-Christian," that Jesus would tell Dobson to "love thy enemies" and "turn the other cheek" and "not be a hateful prick." Well, Giblets thinks Jesus can shove it. Modern Christians need modern leadership for modern times, and if Jesus don't got the cajones to turn a rabid culture-war-inflamed mob on a political opponent's home, he should get out of the soul-saving business and leave it to the professionals. That Prince of Peace shtick was getting old anyway.
posted by Giblets at 2:53 PM
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