Sunday, July 11, 2004

Fafnir is a broken-hearted Fafnir. For I was deceived. Deceived by the story of Joe Wilson who as it turns out lied about absolutely everything he said to anyone ever because there in the Washington Post last Saturday exists definitive proof that somebody somewhere has said that his wife, exposed CIA agent Valerie Plame, got him his job checking out if Saddam Hussein had tried to buy uranium from Niger.

Poor foolish Fafnir! I had thought somehow this was all about how exposing the identity of a covert CIA agent is a federal crime but apparently it is really about how her husband is a big fat jerk who got a job by ridin his wife's coattails. I don't quite understand what that has to do with a criminal investigation but hipublican intellectual Jonah Goldberg does so that's OK.*

In the meantime because I was tricked into believin in Joe Wilson, I also believed that Saddam Hussein's nuclear program didnt exist when in fact it must have because Joe Wilson got his job from his wife! Even now I am trembling in fear in the knowledge that somewhere out there Saddam Hussein is sittin on a giant pile of Nigerien yellowcake uranium. "Ho ho ho," laughs Saddam Hussein as he takes a bite of rich, creamy uranium. "Soon I will grow ten thousand times my current size, spewing radioactive fire breath across Mesopotamia, until as Nuculo-Saddam I shall control the Middle East!" "Oh no Saddam don't do that!" I say. "It is too late!" he laughs. "And I owe it all to you, Fafnir - to you and all the other hapless peaceniks deceived by the nepotism of Joseph and Valerie Plame-Wilson!"

Oh no! Whatever will we do?

*Joe Wilson could learn a lot from Jonah in fact. With his deep intellectual honesty an cutting-edge use of Simpsons references it is easy to see why Jonah Goldberg didnt need nepotism to get him where he is today.
posted by fafnir at 3:32 PM




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