Stupid Democratic National Convention! You are stupid and smell of rancid old cow smell and Giblets is unimpressed with your vast quantities of compliemtary booze and your just-par escort services! But now onto the substantive criticism!
Al Gore! Seems like some people just can't get over "being a loser" or "winning the popular vote and losing the presidency" or "having the election handed to someone else by a Republican-appointed Supreme Court." Well Democrats if no one else will say it Giblets will: it is time to finally move on and concern ourselves with things that matter to this country like a thorough examination of how Bill Clinton's genitals failed this country's war on terror.
Teresa Heinz Kerry! She told a reporter to "shove it" recently! Do Americans want this much hatred and divisiveness in our nation's ceremonial cookie-baker? Giblets thought not!
Jimmy Carter! History's greatest monster! With his Habitat for Humanity Jimmy Carter gives homes to the homeless - making the homeless cease to exist. That sounds like Homeless Genocide to Giblets! An do not Giblets started on the incompetence and horror of the Camp David Accords! But that is the Democrats for you - forever celebratin the failures of the past!
Teresa Heinz Kerry! How much influence does she have with her husband? An infinite amount Giblets assumes! Meaning that a Kerry administration will be a thrall to Big Ketchup - and a very hate-filled and divisive one at that!
Bill Clinton! Was the positive response to his speech a plus for the Democrats - or was it a HUGE MINUS considerin the vast billions of NORMAL Americans who will never forgive him for compromisin national security with lies about his sex life? Only Giblets will tell. (And he says - it's a minus! All normal people hate Bill Clinton!)
Teresa Heinz Kerry! What if as First Lady she is in some foreigny nuclear place like France or Russia or Nukeyland swappin meatloaf recipes with some nuclear-type person an she goes crazy and tells him to "shove it" and because of his foreigny sense of honor he begins a nuclear war? Think about THAT.
