Thursday, July 8, 2004

duck bill gates duck! oh noooo!These are the dangerous pies. These are the sudden pies. These are the pies of sudden hilarity an sudden death. They are the assassin pies.

You will never expect these pies because that is their way. It is their dark and secret code. They appear an disappear like the night an when they strike they strike without mercy and they only leave cream and tragicomedy in their wake.

how can you spoil a system that has already been spoiled - by pie?One minute you'll be sittin there in your sofa or your board room or your captain's lounge or your livin room or your House of Lords and you will be sayin somethin like "Oh well now Chuck" because of course you are talkin to Chuck "as you can see expenditures are vastly overtaken by profits in this quarter an we can all breathe a sigh of relief I'd say because there are of course no pies around" an then Chuck an the Director an Lucy an the Pope an Doctor Groggins all start to laugh an laugh with relief at your good good news an THERE IT IS a pie right out of the blue and it hits someone SMACK RIGHT IN THE FACE an they arent just Chuck or the Director or Lucy or the Pope or Doctor Groggins anymore they are Chuck or the Director or Lucy or the Pope or Doctor Groggins or you with pie all over their face and there's nothin you can do, an the first thing you want to do is laugh because hey it's a pie an pies are fun until you realize The Terrible Horror Of It All and the Vast And Terrible Tragedy sinks in.

another tortured victimWhy was I hit with such a pie? you will think with pie runnin down your face. Because you were there that is why. Whether you are an astronaut or bicyclist or a monkey made of smaller monkeys you are a target for the predator pie.

Is there anything you can do to stop them? No, these pies are like the pies of Nature, swift and unstoppable. Can you predict where they will strike? No, for they are as unpredictable as the wind. The only thing you can do is be prepared. Be prepared and be ready to fight for cruel survival at the hands of the assassin pies.

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posted by fafnir at 9:23 PM




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