Tuesday, July 6, 2004
The Fafblog World News Desk has just gotten a hold of the new ad for George Bush featurin John McCain! Wow how do we do this, it is pretty amazin I'll tell you!
"We're in a war."
[John McCain addressing camera]
"A war between right and wrong. Good and evil."
[John McCain, George Bush, and Jesus standing in front of an American tank. Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden, and Satan stand in front of the inflamed pits of hell across from it]
"Evil wants to get nuclear bombs, and plant them inside the brains of your small children."
[sinister close-up of Saddam Hussein hovering over a child picking daisies]
"Evil would have gotten them from Iraq, an evil place made entirely of nuclear bombs. But George Bush blew up those bombs with other bombs - good bombs - and made them go away, with his steely resolve."
[George Bush descending from the heavens with the Holy Spirit in the form of a dove]
"But Evil may still get those nuclear bombs - presumably from leprechauns, or the treacherous Mogwai - and we can never let down our guard."
[sinister zoom-out of dark-skinned man at a playground with a warhead under his trenchcoat]
"I'm Senator John McCain, rugged individualist. I march to the beat of my own drummer and I don't give a damn about 'parties' or 'politics.' I'm a man's man."
[John McCain tearing a bear in half with his teeth]
"I'm also made of guns."
[still photo of a cannon popping out of John McCain's chest, killing alien]
"And I want you to know that if we don't re-elect George W. Bush, someone will detonate a nuclear bomb in America."
[sinister close-up of Saddam Hussein with arm around a beret-wearing John Kerry]
"Inside the brains of your small children."
[sinister close-up of Saddam Hussein and a beret-wearing John Kerry eating a small child]
"May I introduce to you the man who will bear my child: George W. Bush."
posted by fafnir at 7:57 AM