Wednesday, June 9, 2004

The Weekly Standard has just broken what Giblets has dubbed the prime story of the year: the discovery that numerous Beatles songs were actually about drugs! Backed up by a shocking confession by aging junkie Paul McCartney, intrepid investigative reporter Victorino Matus delves into the lyrics of "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds" and explains for those of us uninitiated into the heady and terrifying world of illicit drugs:

For those not indoctrinated, it seems fairly obvious: "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" is a mnemonic for LSD... Where exactly has [Lucy] gone to? Did her eyes change from kaleidoscopes into the sun or are these two different girls? Clearly the only way to "dig" the message is by going on an acid trip.
Giblets is "hip" to your "scene" now, Lennon-McCartney! Music's just not "groovy" enough for ya without that sweet, sweet taste of Mary Jane! First comes the off-beat syncopation and experimentation with eastern rhythms, then comes the heady plunge into a world of vibrant textures and colors where music breathes, walls pulse, and Ringo's sellin' George's ass to Lucky Jim Crackpipe for just one more shot at the Reefer, the Cheeba, the Good Skunk, the Fox Job, the Monkeypaw, the Crab Habit, the Greek Freaky, the Jujyfruit!

For Beatles fans it is the equivalent, as Mr Matus points out, of "finding out that Alger Hiss really was a spy." And worse - a spy on pot! Giblets can only ponder how it would have affected the reputations of John Lennon and Paul McCartney back in the straight and clean days of the 1960s had they been exposed as slaves to the succor of the evil weed. Hopefully now that the record has been set staight the Beatles will be remembered as they should be - as nothing more than subliminal dope peddlers.
posted by Giblets at 1:53 PM




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