Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Giblets has always been big on the Catholic Church. Big pointy hats, the inquisition, speaking ex cathedra, sacking Constantinople. Giblets and Catholicism see eye to eye on a lot of issues. Which is why I was interested when I saw a month ago that the Vatican was calling on priests to deny communion to pro-choice Catholics like John Kerry.* One bishop has one-upped this by threatening to withhold communion for any Catholics who vote for politicians who support views the church disagrees with.

Some say this is a cynical move to use religion as a blunt instrument in an election year. And they're right - but what a move! Giblets is impressed, Catholic Church. The Pope has been mostly on the sidelines of the "bully and manipulate American politics with faith" game for decades now but this throws his giant pointy hat in the ring - and with today's sainting of the lady who died to prove that a lethal childbirth doesn't give you an excuse to get an abortion, the Pope's making sure it stays there. For years and years the heavyweights have been protestant fundamentalists and they don't even have the organizational power that the Pope has behind him. If it takes off these guys could be like the AFL-CIO, the Mafia, and the Christian Coalition all rolled into one.

Giblets could not be happier if they pull this off, because frankly he is damn sick of all this "secular representative democracy" talk that's been going on for the last couple centuries. Giblets pines for a return to the traditional values - divine right of kings, universal serfdom, the mass subjugation of women - we started to lose with good old fashioned medieval theocrats.

*Giblets feels a little for John Kerry. The Catholic Church barred Giblets from receiving communion months ago back when I started calling for the Pope to die and commenced the Pope Death Watch, but it hasn't sidetracked me any. Here at Fafblog central we have sixteen gallons of stolen holy water and a box of fig newtons which means Giblets can reliably transubstantiate delicious newtons into the Body of Christ at my convenience. Giblets's Body of Christ is sweeter and chewier than yours by far!
posted by Giblets at 12:52 PM




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