Saturday, May 1, 2004

Well we are pulling out of Fallujah it looks like. Now I know a lot of gloomy guses out there are gonna talk about appeasement and the downfall of the occupation and encouraging insurgents but yknow what, I think this pullin-out-and-leavin-crazy-Iraqi-militia-alone-under-a-Baathist-general plan might be on just the right track.

Remember that old episode of The Cosby Show where Theo wants to move out of his house and go live in the real world so Dr Huxtable goes and sets up his house as "The Real World Hotel" where Theo is charged for rent and food and cant afford to eat or sleep and has to say "Aw dad man was I stupid in this episode!" and his dad says "Thassalright son have a Jello pudding pop!" Ha ha! That was a great episode.

Well the moral of that episode is "be careful what you wish for because sometimes you're actually stupid" which is a valuable lesson we all should learn. What the US should do is give full sovereignty to all of Fallujah and put crazy Sunni militias in charge. At first they will be like "Awwwwright! Party in the mosque all Friday long!" but pretty soon they will learn that with Great Power Comes Great Responsibility and people will start comin up to them sayin hey crazy Sunni militias where's my electricity? and Hey crazy Sunni militias where's my job? and Hey crazy Sunni militias what happened to that universal health care plan you promised us? and crazy Sunni militias will learn the perils of incumbency.

Meanwhile the US will be back in limited-sovereignty Iraq goin "Oh what's that crazy Sunni militias you don't want to run Fallujah anymore? Oh well" and they will apologize profusely and US ambassador to Iraq John Negroponte will put a fatherly hand around their shoulder, give them a Jello pudding pop and a summary execution. And everybody will have a big laugh it'll be fun!


CORRECTION: In the previous version of this post Fafblog referred to crazy Sunni militias as "Moqtada al Sadr," who is not holed up in Fallujah. Also Fafblog referred to Iraq as "Candyland," President Bush as "convicted child molester President Bush," and Supreme Court Justice David Souter as "the argument from supervenience." Fafblog regrets the error.
posted by fafnir at 3:26 AM



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