Friday, May 28, 2004
So I have just learned from CNN that Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge an Attorney General John Ashcroft have released a joint statement clearin up their previous disagreements about the new terror alert. Huh! I woulda figured they'd of figured out these terror alert dealies together before they announce em, but I am not the terror expert here. Neither is Giblets.
"The homeland is safer," says Giblets. "I have just shot a terrorist."
"Giblets what are you doin shooting terrorists!" says me. "You are banned from the use of firearms in twelve states."
"Gun laws are insolent," says Giblets. "When guns are outlawed only the outlaws will get to shoot terrorists."
"That was not a terrorist!" says me. "That was James McNew of Yo La Tengo!"
"Are you sure?" says Giblets. "I was pretty certain he was the long-haired white guy from the FBI release."
"You have not killed an enemy of freedom," says me. "You have just killed the pulsin basswork behind America's premiere noise-pop band."
"Eh," says Giblets. "They lost me with 'Summer Sun' anyway."
Well we are gonna be busy for most of the evening buryin James McNew in our backyard (please do not tell anyone we killed James McNew readers. Lets just keep this between us). We will see all of you later. Giblets says to hide outside in the bushes and stab anything that moves til this blows over.
posted by fafnir at 6:46 PM