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Tuesday, May 4, 2004
The most terrible and heartbreaking thing ever in the world has happened. One of my Glofish has died.
Blinky (we are pretty sure it was Blinky) was lookin weird an bent and hunchbacked for a while, and couldnt get up off the bottom of the real easy, and then yesterday he died. I was inconsolable for a long time until Chris promised me he would get me a mutant cyborg Glofish to replace him. Chris denies this but it is true. The cyborg fish's name will be Sir Horatio Weatherspoon. The man at the fish store claimed that Blinky's intrinsic Glofishness may have caused him to die. "Those are those fish they inject coral DNA into," he says. "Yeah they glow," I says. "Well the genetic tampering makes them genetically inferior," says the fish store man who thinks he is some expert on glofish genetics now, "so it mighta had a genetic disease that killed it." "That is stupid, stupid fish store man!" I says. "Glofish are if anything genetically superior. They can glow! Ordinary non-glofish fish cannot glow. That is superiority right there." "Duuuuh I am sooo stupid, watch me say stupid things," says the fish store man. Anyway. The good news is the cause of Glofish freedom is now spreadin to England where the BBC and the Independent both have Glofish articles about the different things Glofish technology can lead to. I dunno they are interesting articles but they mostly focus on boring things like goats that can make supercheese and fast-growing salmon and environmental horror. Which is all interesting but misses the most important part which is that glofish really glow. What this could really lead to eventually is a host of other glowing animals like glomice, glocats, and even the fabled glomonkey. Dont you think people would be more eager to save whales if they were glowhales? Sure they would! Beautiful glowing whales. Anyway I will be mourning Blinky (we think it was Blinky) for much of the rest of today but will be back in case anythin interesting happens or in case yknow mourning gets borin real fast which is always a concern you have with mourning.
posted by fafnir at 11:22 AM
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