Tuesday, May 25, 2004

Giblets spent much of the weekend absorbing media. This can be dangerous because it involves many dangerous hours with nothing but television and the internet before my delicate prying eyes and indeed at one point I almost imploded when the tube connecting my mouth to my feeding bag got switched from the "FEED" to the "SUCK" position (DO NOT LAUGH! Marshall McLuhan died that way!)

Anyway after a weekend of nothing but television Giblets is not as happy and bouncy as he would have anticipated. In fact Giblets is ENRAGED.

Look at this Anthony Zinni thing. General Anthony Zinni, former CENTCOM commander, is writing an insider's account bashing the Bush Administration's handling of Iraq and the war on terror. At this rate the only ones making it out of this administration without a book deal will be George Bush and Giblets. Well I will not stand for it! Giblets will sell his story of insider debauchery and disillusionment to the highest bidder. In it I will reveal that the Iraq War was concocted in the middle of a homoerotic mud-wrestling match between Dick Cheney, Prince Bandar, and an oil tanker!

And another thing! After a full week of gay marriages not only has the nuclear family not collapsed but no gay people have proposed to Giblets! Not that Giblets is gay but come on! Behold Giblets, resplendant in all his finery! I am pretty damn hot is what I am saying. People from all genders should be lining up to beg to marry Giblets! What is wrong with you gay people! Decades if not centuries of gay rights have lead up to this moment! I am damn near ready to condemn gay marriage as an abomination before God and Jesus again.

Finally, Giblets is angry because war just isn't what it used to be. Used to be you'd settle into a good solid quagmire, get your toes all comfortable and squishy in there, and even with a monster draft and a hideous body count you could be in there years before the public really got sick of it. Now just a year into a nightmarishly ill-conceived slog of an Asian land war America is losing its stomach for nightmarishly ill-conceived slogs of Asian land wars. This isn't the historically-myopic America I know and love! Where is the determination? Where is the suicidal obstinacy? Giblets can only pray it returns in force before November.

Giblets is angry.
posted by Giblets at 2:02 PM



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