Monday, April 19, 2004

It is heartening to see another victory for Western Civilization with the assassination and subsequent raising to martyr status of Hamas chief Abdel Aziz al-Rantissi by Israel on Saturday. Beings who lack the scope and insight of the Medium Lobster will offer pithy responses such as "violence begets violence" or "this will only provoke more terrorism." What these unenlightened mobs fail to see is that this is precisely the point. Only through the hideous and wanton exacerbation of terror can Western civilization truly defeat it.

Consider the facts. There is no way any reasonable policy professional - much less the prime minister of Israel - could expect the targeted assassination of a single terrorist figurehead less than a month before the targeted assassination of another lionized terrorist figurehead could actually reduce the amount of terror in Israel/Palestine. Any leader with an intellect greater than that of a grapefruit would realize that these actions will do nothing more than galvanize the most radical segments of the Palestinian populace into orchestrating bloodier and bloodier assaults on Israeli society. But this is exactly what Ariel Sharon is counting on: by further radicalizing Palestine, Sharon will provoke so many suicide bombings that Hamas's casualty rate will eventually pass its recruitment rate, and the terrorist group will be vanquished. A victory for peace!

That Sharon is willing to do this at such a cost to his own people - markedly increased terrorism and fatalities - demonstrates his deep commitment to the peace process. He has even gone so far as to convince President Bush to endorse the permanent retention of Israeli settlements in the West Bank, a move that will not only speed up this dynamic "peace expectorant" in Israel, but in Iraq, where a deeper association between Israeli and American policy will be sure to provoke even more attacks on US troops, luring insurgents right out into the open where they can be more easily defeated.

It is the Medium Lobster's understanding that Sharon will continue this path towards peace in earnest - bulldozing random villages, cracking down on curfew violations, and of course completing the security barrier that cuts across the West Bank. Indeed, it is hoped that the latest peace initiative to culminate with two Apache helicopters airlifting the Prime Minister's naked, bloated, wriggling form over the Temple Mount so he may personally defecate on the Dome of the Rock.

Truly, these are wondrous times we live in, when terror stands ready to be vanquished and peace lies within our grasp - almost as heartening as seeing Vladimir Putin nourish Russia's fledgling democracy through the cultivation of an iron-fisted autocracy. But that is a story for another time.
posted by the Medium Lobster at 1:11 PM



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