Tuesday, April 27, 2004
So last week me and Giblets were sittin around when we found out while payin riveted attention to World News and Whatsis that there is no rule at the Pottery Barn that says "you break it you bought it."
"Wow what a useful thing to know," I says. "Now I will not feel so intimidated next time I bring a bison into Pottery Barn."
"Even better," says Giblets. "Now this means we can break everything at the Pottery Barn and they will be helpless before us!"
"Well," I says. "In theory."
"Helpless!" says Giblets.
"Well," I says. "Wouldn't be very nice to the Pottery Barn."
"Heeeeeeellllpless," says Giblets."
"Well," I says. Sometimes there is nothin you can say to Giblets. It is like that time he was set on transformin the Middle East.
So Giblets goes down to the Pottery Barn and I go after him to try to get him to stop and to maybe get something at the frogurt stand which is a couple stores down and Giblets starts by picking up a glass bowl and says "oops" and dropping it. "Powerless before Giblets!" says Giblets. There is much broken bowl. Store people are upset. Then he goes over to a set of glassware and goes "whoops" and it is dropped again. "Behold the mighty hand of Giblets!" says Giblets. When store people come over he shows them article from Newsday saying they have no policy to deal with him. "Are you saying your company lied to Newsday?" says Giblets. "Are you saying you have needlessly besmirched the reputation of Colin Powell? Well then you are helpless before Giblets, helpless, bow before him! Whoops." More pottery breaks.
"C'moooon Giblets," I says. "Stooooop it."
"Giblets is busy," says Giblets.
"You are hurting the Pottery Barn," I says. "It is an innocent barn made of pottery."
"Dance for Giblets!" Giblets says to the Pottery Barn.
We stayed there all weekend, Giblets breakin the Pottery Barn and me eating frogurt. It was good frogurt. Giblets wanted to stay until the next supply truck came but I told him we had to go.
So I am sorry internet! Two weekends in a row we at Fafblog have let you down by deserting you in times of crisis by leaving Fafnir and Giblets in some weird place for days and days. "And the Medium Lobster is not reliable," I says. "Very true," says Giblets. "The Medium Lobster transcends reliability," I says.
It won't happen again. Probably. Maybe. Sorta.
posted by fafnir at 10:36 AM