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Wednesday, April 28, 2004
America is at war. A war not merely against one terrorist organization, but a war for its very way of life, to protect that most ephemeral thing known as Freedom. The Medium Lobster has been heartened to see that the fight to preserve the American way is being taken to its most direct front: cracking down on pornography and dirty words.
Both the Justice Department and the FCC have spent the last several weeks courageously rolling back the terror cells of smut and swear words that threaten to destroy the civilization the West so deeply cherishes. Indeed, just today the Medium Lobster has learned that the roiling cesspool of filth known as NPR will no longer be allowed to make unfettered use of the word "suck" over the radio, and John Ashcroft continues to wage a multi-milliondollar war against that most pernicious of Islamist radicals: the porn industry. The narrow-minded and the short-sighted have seen these crucial steps as at best a useless distraction or at worst an infringement upon basic constitutional liberties. As always, the Medium Lobster has nothing but pity for these deluded souls. The war America is fighting is in fact part of a larger war - a war to protect Western civilization and the American way of life from those that would destroy it. And Indecency, and the dark sweaty corruption it promises, threatens indeed to destroy it. Americans must acknowledge that censoring shock-jocks and arresting fluffers is another crucial front in the ongoing battle to roll back the Islamist assault on freedom. As part of the freest society in the world, you, too have a duty to perform in this fight. You must contribute to the cause. Which is why the Medium Lobster wants you to volunteer your services to Attorney General John Ashcroft and FCC Chairman Michael Powell by signing their agencies up to receive massive amounts of porn via email. To defeat one's enemy, one must first know one's enemy - even if it means enduring excrutiating hours of hot barely-legal Asian teen anal action. Do it for your country.
posted by the Medium Lobster at 9:47 AM
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