Friday, April 30, 2004
So I open up my email today expectin to hear the usual excitin offers for free male enhancement and mysterious African currency and instead I found a story from CBS about American soldiers and military contractors torturing and humilating Iraqi prisoners. Prisoners have been beaten to death and stripped and threatened with electrocution. There are allegations of a rape. There are photos.
"Is this real?" I says to Giblets.
"It's the internet," says Giblets. "It's internet-real."
"We're the good guys," I says. "It can't be real."
"Television will tell us the truth," says Giblets, and he is correct because Television knows.
But thankfully it is all just a big heap of nothin because when we turned on the TV all that was on on every news channel what Michael Jackson getting indicted!
"Whew," says me. "I was very afraid American soldiers had actually tortured Iraqis!"
"Yeah," says Giblets. "That would have deeply shaken me and my faith in the purity of occupation forces."
"That would have been the worst thing ever," I says.
"Almost as bad as the heavy allegations weighing on the King of Pop," Giblets says.
"Indeed," I says. "He may be unfit to wear the crown."
"The crown of pop," Giblets says.
"How's the siege of Fallujah goin?" I says.
"Havent seen much lately," says Giblets.
"I guess it's pretty much over then," I says.
Fox News's Linda Vester promises to get back to us with up-to-the-minute coverage of the Michael Jackson arraignment just after this break. She might even have an expert panel!
posted by fafnir at 1:24 PM