Friday, March 26, 2004

So a bunch of fuddy-duddy Democrats are all upset because of some joke George Bush told about missing WMDs the other day. "This is a very serious issue," Democratic National Committee Chairman Terry McAuliffe said. "We've lost hundreds of troops, as you know, over there. Let's not be laughing about not being able to find weapons of mass destruction. They're not there. That is the issue. We should not take it to a new step to make fun of the situation." "That's supposed to be funny?" said Democratic rival John Kerry.

Indeed, nothing to laugh at - because it was a lame slide show sequence with painfully obvious sight gags. Giblets has seen more cutting-edge comedy coming out of Henny Youngman's corpse. My advice to George Bush: start off with some good sock puppets and work your way up. Everybody loves sock puppets.

My advice to Senator Stick-up-the-butt: lighten up. It's just a war*. Was the joke "offensive"? How should I know? Giblets laughs at (good) offensive jokes! They desensitize me to the horrors of reality and the terrible evils of the past. This is why we need to tell more 9/11 jokes. It helps "break the tension" over the whole horrible mind-numbing loss of life thing. Since (as Darwin argued) our natural response to horrible mind-numbing loss of life is a binary "laugh/kill" response, we must either laugh at the horror or kill in response to it. Since our culture is not sufficiently advanced to laugh at horror, we tend to kill things instead, which is okay as therapy goes but is getting expensive. So the eventual solution is to either find a cheaper way to kill things or to learn to laugh. Only then will the healing begin.

*Before somebody accuses Giblets of being insensitive to war veterans you should all know that Giblets is himself is a war veteran and is thus immune to such criticism. Giblets fought, and was wounded, in the Cola Wars. You do not know what hell is until you are lying face down in a puddle of RC Cola and you can hear your best friend over the hill screaming for Tab, just to kill the pain, as the Pepsi Death Squads close in.
posted by Giblets at 10:58 AM



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