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Sunday, March 14, 2004
I am writing from under a three blankets two pillows an enormous ape named Bucephalus (say hi Bucephalus!) and a smiley faced drinking mug (with cocoa) in order to camouflage myself from the terrorists. Do not tell them I am here or who knows what victories those terrorists will achieve.
My squishy yet fragile heart broke again last week when the terrorists attacked Spain killing hundreds - Spain, one of my two favorite countries on the Iberian peninsula why did it have to be you Spain? - but now my I have been informed by television and the internet that it is worse because in addition to killing hundreds of innocent people the terrorists have won. You see when I was watchin TV it said to me "Fafnir since terrorists blew up the Spanish trains around the Spanish elections that means they want the conservative Spanish to win the elections which will mean an escalation in the war on terror and an increase in the recruitment for al Qaeda!" "Oh no tv that's bad!" I said. "Yes it is Fafnir," said the tv, "because if we react to the terrorists that means they control us and that means they have won!" But then I saw this morning that the socialists were winning the elections. ("Hey look Giblets!" I said. "Socialists!" "There are socialists?" said Giblets. "Yes apparently in Spain!" I said. "They also have bullfighters, conquistadors, and emus!" "I want a socialist!" said Giblets. "Bring Giblets a socialist now!") And I was all happy because that meant that the terrorists had lost. "No Fafnir," said the tv. "This means the terrorists have won because the Spanish are voting for the socialists in reaction against the ruling conservatives because they blame them for the terrorist attack. This means the terrorists have gotten them to elect socialists in response to terror and that means the terrorists have won!" And thne I yelled and hid under a blanket until I called Colin Powell. "Colin Powell the terrorists are winning!" I told him. "I know, tv told me!" he said. "Quick cancel the Spanish elections Colin Powell!" I said. "I could Fafnir using my magnificent Colin Powell Powers but then we would be cancelling elections just because of the terrorists and that would mean the terrorists had gotten us to cancel the Spanish elections and that would mean the terrorists have won!" And we both yelled for a long long time. So here I am under the blankets and the pillows and Bucephalus the ape and the smiley faced drinking mug (with cocoa). I think I am safe from contributing to further terrorist victories in here, and so can you as long as you never do anything ever again because if there is one thing that stop the cause of terror it is being paralyzed by anxiety.
posted by fafnir at 3:43 PM
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