Tuesday, March 16, 2004

As I write, the Kerry campaign is still crippled by the scandal already known as Foreignleadergate. It is obvious by now that John Kerry's bizarre claims that foreign leaders would prefer a Kerry presidency have already forever doomed his party to the dustbin of history, and Republicans' brilliant decision to obsess on this critical issue will sweep the South, the Midwest, and California come November.

The disaster for Kerry becomes even more ugly and treacherous when faced with the impossible task to name these imaginary "foreign leaders" who would oppose the reelection of Bush, because the casual voter's mind immediately fills with the names of foreign leaders who have supported the Texan president: Tony Blair, Polish President Aleksander Kwasniewski, Tony Blair, Federated States of Micronesia President Joseph J. Urusemal, Tony Blair, former Spanish Prime Minister Jose Aznar, Tony Blair.

With that roster of foreign Bush supporters, it's hard to imagine who could even be hypothetically left over to hope for a Kerry victory - other than, of course, the French, German, Russian, Belgian, current Spanish, Chinese, and Japanese governments, along with the entire Mideast, none of whom count, for reasons which the Medium Lobster does not need to explain to ones as presumably enlightened as all of you. Were I Karl Rove, I would make sure to keep reminding all of America that John Kerry says he'll get along better with our foreign allies than George Bush does - it'll only make the President's sterling reputation as a beloved and competent world leader shine that much brighter.
posted by the Medium Lobster at 2:11 PM



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