Saturday, January 17, 2004

Giblets is in his hotel room now, which is a stupid and smelly hotel room. Giblets should not be surprised - he is in Iowa. In order to compete in a land of the smelly and stupid, Iowan hoteliers have been forced to make their products ever stupider and smellier. Giblets must keep this in mind when he tells the hotel people how insolent and useless and above all stupid they are for giving him such a stupid and smelly room. It is, in a sense, not their fault. Giblets will lead them to a better, less stupid world - but only after the pain and the wrath.

On my TV there are commercials. SO MANY COMMERCIALS. Here is one for Howard Dean. Here is one for John Kerry. Here is one for Diet Coke. Here is one for John Edwards. Giblets finds Diet Coke's positions and stances highly persuasive.

Giblets recently saw an ad which went exactly like this: "Hi my name is Howard Dean or John Kerry or perhaps Dennis Kucinich. I think America blah blah blah and I blah blah blah. George Bush has blah blah blah the environment and taxes for the rich while blah blah blah and I am made of custard and you are so stupid. I'm Howard Dean or John Kerry or perhaps Dennis Kucinich, and I approved this message."

So why are the ads so stupid? One can only come to the conclusion that either the candidates are stupid or that Iowans are so stupid they must be spoken to with stupid commercials. It is like another language. When you are in France you must speak French to the French. When you are in Spain you must speak Spanish to the Spanish. When you are surrounded by stupid people you must speak in the language of stupid.

Giblets tires now, so he will rest. More sharp and stunning political analysis will come tomorrow. You will probably not appreciate it, being as stupid as you are. But Giblets forgives you anyway.
posted by Giblets at 10:59 PM



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