Friday, January 9, 2004
Today is a big day my friends. A big day for the country. A big day for the world. A big day for the universe. "Why, Fafnir, why?" you cry because you cannot stand it any longer. Because Fafblog is about to officially endorse who should be the next Democratic Presidential nominee, and President, and High Lord and Moon Pope.
Now there are many things one must take into consideration when decidin who is the best candidate. Who is ahead? Who is behind? Who has vision? Who has momentum? Who does not? Who is "energizing the base"? Who appeared briefly in a 1980s era ninja feature?
The answer to all of these answers my friends is Howard Dean.
As covered by Fear Itself, Salon, and frequent Daily Kos poster and mohawk-bearing thespian Mr. T, Dr Dean apparently took a break from his medical practice in Vermont in 1984 to film a cameo as a helicopter pilot in "Ninja III: The Domination."
"He took a break - to break some heads," Giblets says.
"Ninja heads," I says.
We need a new kind of president - a president who can dispatch the problems which plague our country today like so many attacking ninjas. Can Dick Gephardt break a block of cement in half with his head? I do not think so. Could John Kerry decapitate a squad of katana-wielding shadow-warriors using only his bare hands? Hardly. And if so, how could he as president confront the katana-wielding shadow-warriors of mounting national debt, rising health care costs, the war on Iraq and the specter of international terrorism? Not well that is how.
That is why Fafblog stands proud in its endorsement of Howard Dean, and that is why Dr Dean will go on to win the nomination, and the Presidency.* Isn't that right, God?
"It sure is, Fafnir," says God, who is at our Dean House Party. "I predict he will win in a 'blow-out.' Man these are good brownies."
*Dr Dean I expect to be made Attorney General for this career-making endorsement. And Giblets wants the Defense Department. "Not the cabinet position, just the department," he says. "I got a bunch of stuff I gotta put someplace."
posted by fafnir at 2:14 PM