Friday, December 5, 2003

I am angry today! I am very very angry! I am the angriest Fafnir you ever will see!

As related by Californian blogger and hot dog magnate Calpundit via the LA Times, the California Fish and Game Commission has banned the sale of genetically engineered GloFish, delightful fluorescent fish which really and truly glow. WHY? Because they are BASTARD BASTARD WEENIES.

This is an outrage, and an insult, to free people and to fish-fanciers everywhere. And we must fight this! And we will fight this.

FOR SCIENCE: There is no telling what remarkable achievements we will achieve with the technology that comes from figurin out how to make fish glow. The skeptic once said, "Why go to the moon? There is nothin up there on the moon but rocks, and foul moon men!" Boo, skeptics! If we listened to the skeptics there would be no rockets, no velcro, no Tang! The applications of glowing fish technology are beyond imagination, from glowing frogs to glowing gerbils to dare I say it glowing monkeys. The possibilities are limitless my friends.

FOR LIBERTY: First they came for the GloFish and I did not speak up because I was not a GloFish. Then they came for the Italian clone babies and I did not speak up because I was not an Italian clone baby. Who will be next? It could be anyone. Don't let the California Fish and Game Commission trample our civil liberties.

FOR AMERICA: GloFish are American. Being anti-GloFish is like being anti-American. That means you hate America! What did America ever do to you, California Fish and Game Commission? It gave you jazz and online porn and The Boss and the Grand Canyon! Are you going to ban the Grand Canyon now, too? Have you no decency California Fish and Game Commission? At long last have you no decency?
posted by fafnir at 8:49 AM




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