Wednesday, November 5, 2003

It is bad times for my homeland of Sri Lanka. The president Chandrika Kumaratunga has gone crazy and fired a bunch of people and told parliament to go away. Why are you being crazy, Chandrika Kumaratunga? Did not the Sri Lankanian people love you enough in your non-crazy, martial law-imposing days? Was there not happiness? Were there not marshmallows?

We Sri Lankanans are a peaceful people. A happy people. A marshmallow-loving people. A rabbit-loving people. We have cultivated an alarmingly large rabbit population. Because we can and because we love rabbits and religious imagery involving rabbits. And marshmallows. We did not ask for the crazy, or the chaos, or the continuation of the civil war. If we did, we'd have done so politely, like "Excuse me madam president, may we have some crazy, with some chaos, and perhaps a side of the continuation of the civil war?"

But we did not do that, Chandrika Kumaratunga. All we asked for was more time to farm our marshmallows and worship our rabbits.

This is all Santa Claus's fault. This is why we need to kill him and his elves as soon as possible.
posted by fafnir at 11:03 AM



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