Friday, October 3, 2003

Don't think that just cause I'm gettin ready to help John Ashcroft Attorney General of the United States to investigate the murky depths of the White House Super Leak Scandal Special I haven't forgotten all the other vital matters relevant to our world today, such as the development of the inclined farcel, the plight of robots' rights, the crisis of leadership in the roman statue community, and my hard-hitting coverage of the Democratic presidential thing.

Just last night I took time out from teaching my English for Oranges class to watch television, and I saw Spike TV - usually a proud innovator at the forefront of progressive ideals - was showing the episode of Star Trek where Worf is living on the place where Romulans and Klingons get along, and Worf is all, "What is the matter with you Klingons! Klingons and Romulans do not get along! Be strong! Kill this pig! Sing drunken like!" and the other guys are all "Nah nah we want to live in peeeaaace" and Worf is all "Embrace your pig-killing heritage now!" and they kill pigs and are loud and happy and the Romulan guy is gloomy cause nobody likes him anymore and the Klingons all go and leave where they can grunt and kill pigs and drink and be true Klingons by themselves.

But what is the lesson here Worf! Where is the Love? Where is the Romulan-Klingon creamy goodness? Can't they all just get along? No, says Worf, cause we got to do our own thing even if it means killin each other and other things typically regarded as bad because we are Klingons, hrah hrah. Worf is endorsing the short-sighted and sad policies of Identity Politics. Worf is a bad example to us all.

Why can't we be more like Data who assimilates into his ship while remaining a cool robot who could kick Picard's ass on any day (do not say Picard could beat Data it is not true, remember that episode where he took over the ship when he went crazy and everyone's like "whoa! look out dude!"), or more like that big rock thing who made clones of Abraham Lincoln and Ghengis Khan and made Kirk fight them both in a Grand Experiment Regarding The Nature Of Good And Evil, he was just cool.

Shame on you, Worf.
posted by fafnir at 10:41 AM



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