Friday, October 24, 2003
It's a hard road to justice. Justice is tough, like a gorilla, or an old walrus maybe, but that's what it's there for. And if you don't take justice seriously it will beat you. Beat you like a gorilla. Or a walrus.
That's what was goin' through my Special Prosecutorial mind when I had Karl Rove in "the box" today. 'Cause when it's CIA Leak Scandal investigatin' time, you know that the Justice Department doesn't have the kid gloves on. That's why they brought out Fafnir. Cause he doesn't even wear any gloves at all. Except when it's very cold.
The following is my interview with top leak suspect Karl Rove.
FAFNIR: Okay there Presidential Advisor Karl Rove! Are you the White House leak?
KARL ROVE: My boy! Not only am I not the White House leak, I'm not even a Presidential Advisor!
FAFNIR: You're not?
KARL ROVE: No-hohoho! Why, I don't advise anyone at all! I make CANDY!
FAFNIR: Oh, I like candy! What kind of candy?
KARL ROVE: Delicious, MAGICAL candy! Follow ME, my boy, and my mysterious tiny servants, the Scootra-Lootras, through a WORLD OF IMAGINATION in my chocolate factory!
FAFNIR: Hooray! This is the BEST JUSTICE DEPARTMENT INVESTIGATION EVER!
I can't go into all the wondrous things we saw there, except to say that Karl Rove has promised me that as the best boy to visit the plant I will inherit it when he leaves office. The only downside was that United States Attorney General John Ashcroft got himself turned into a giant blueberry. Darn it Attorney General John Ashcroft we told you not to eat strange things!
It's a hard road to justice. Sometimes it means blueberries.
posted by fafnir at 10:18 AM