Monday, October 6, 2003

Today was Yom Kippur. It is an ancient and sacred holiday for my people, founded by Moses when he ate the lion that he brought down from Mount Sinai on which he wrote the Ten Commandments so nobody could find them again. "Ha," said Moses. "Serves YOU guys right. For wantin Comman'ments."

On Yom Kippur we celebrate the Day of Atonement, and much Atoning takes place. I am Atoned. Giblets is Atoned. My quiche, who I am sad to say I ate a while back cause I got hungry - I am SO SORRY QUICHE - is Atoned. Everyone is Atoned. Moses is just that big on Atonement.

At the end of the Atoning a lion sent by Moses comes out of the door and eats everyone, or is supposed to, so we save a seat for the lion at dinner. It's like, "Hey lion, if you want to eat us, c'mon in. And have ALLLLL this food first." See then the lion will get all stuffed and we'll go "Want some more kugel lion?" And the lion go "oh no I couldn't have another bite" and we'll go "how about some delicious smoked salmon? or a knish?" and the lion'll go "what, are oyu trying to kill me here?" and we'll go "well at least eat us lion!" and he'll go "bah, maybe next year," and we'll go laugh because we'll be smarter than the lion and Moses will go "Oooo, that darn lion!" But the lion never shows up, and we eat all the food anyway. I guess that leaves us vulnerable to Moses. But sometimes there's really good kugel.

Hope you had a delicious and relatively war-free Yom Kippur.
posted by fafnir at 10:29 PM



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