Monday, September 22, 2003
So last night we were talkin about time travel and whether it was real or what, and we decided to see. And Giblets said "No it's not real" and I said "No no it's real" and Chris was fallin asleep on and off and when he sleeps he sorta talks and snores at the same time so its like "Thank you Mister PresidenchnnnnchnNTHHH" and we figured Ethan could settle it.
So when we built the time machine it was Ethan who came back from the Future. The Future is a straaaaaange and wondrous place. Here is the Fafblog exlusive interview with Ethan From the Future.
FAFBLOG: Wow! You're from the Future!
ETHAN FROM THE FUTURE: Yep. I'm from ten minutes into the future.
FB: Wow! What's it like in the World of the Future?
EFTF: Ten minutes into the future, everything is electric. Electric cars, electric toasters, electric soap, electric bread - even the air we breathe is powered by electricity.
FB: It must be a lot faster then.
EFTF: And more efficient. The air is more efficient.
FB: I wish I could live in this mysterious electric age.
EFTF: Except for television. Television is powered by steam - because of the Great Iron Wars.
FB: OOOOO! What were THOSE?
EFTF: I can't tell you - it'd be against the ten-minute time traveler's code.
FB: Awwwww. Do you have robots?
EFTF: Not yet - but we're working on them. Also - everything is digital. EVERYTHING.
FB: That's great. I was tired of the other thing.
EFTF: In the present, everything is in base four. Two minutes into the future, it's base six. Six minutes into the future, it's base eight. It's not until ten minutes into the future that everything is digital.
FB: Oh, I want to see MORE of the future! Back into the time machine with you!
(Ethan From The Future enters the time machine. Ethan From Further Into the Future exits.)
ETHAN FROM FURTHER INTO THE FUTURE: I'm Ethan from twenty minutes into the future.
FB: Wow! Tell me more about your world!
EFFITF: Much has changed since the placid days of ten minutes into the future. In my era, the world is an Orwellian police state ruled by an enormous gelatinous blob made entirely of genetically-modified foodstuffs and the Internet.
FB: Oh no! What has science done!
EFFITF: Also, the digital age has ended. Now, everything is in base-forty-six. So, everyone had better grow another thirty-six fingers.
FB: Can anything be done to stop this nightmarish future?
EFFITF: No. It is Destiny.
FB: Aw, man. Did you ever build robots?
EFFITF: Yes, back around thirteen minutes into the future. But sadly, though they were beautiful and dazzling and skilled beyond words, they yearned for the emotions that their creators possessed that they could never have, and feeling eternally incomplete, they perished sixteen minutes into the future of the one true emotion they ever felt: despair.
FB: Oh, I well with pathos for the robots! Are there flying cars?
EFFITF: No. The feeling of freedom such vehicles would bring would be anathema to the enormous gelatinous blob.
FB: I fear the world of the blob. Will humanity rise up against it?
EFFITF: Maybe. But who knows how long THAT would take...
Thank you, Ethan From The Future! Take care, Ethan From Further Into The Future! You have inspired us all with the wonders and horrors of... THE FUUUUUUTURE!
posted by fafnir at 10:58 AM