Monday, September 22, 2003

Since returning from my months of long exile I have been long thinkin about my work on the Inclined Farcel, which as many of you of course know is the greatest and most incredible invention ever developed in the history of stuff. The farcel when properly implemented will provide trillions of years of infinite energy and by able to envelope all countries in a protective dome which will make all weapons cease working while emitting a sweetly pleasant odor not unplike a freshly baked apple pie.

But like all great inventions the inclined farcel must be properly researched and developed and research and development requires money. Me and Giblets spent this afternoon goin around and sellin cookies to raise funds. We made five and a half dollars but in the end got tired and ate most of the cookies so this is lookin like we need a better way. So Giblets says "Lets rob a bank!" and I says "No Giblets that's very bad of you," then I start thinking, what about the Government? And Giblets says "Yes much better, let's rob the Government, it has a lot more money than the bank" and I said he still didn't get it but after a couple hours of arguing and hitting we got to work.
Dear President Bush,

Hey there President Bush! It's me Fafnir. How're you? I'm fine. I have invented the greatest and most fantastical invention in the world which will supply infinite energy to all the people in the world and solve forever our burgeoning energy crisis. Enclosed is a picture. Impressive yes. However I need more funds for this vitally important endeavor and I was hopin I could get some from you the Government.

My colleague and I estimate that we would require a conservative six hundred thousand billion dollars for research an development. If you could pass that along that'd be great and we appreciate it alot thanks.

Enclosed is a package of those delicious salsa brownies you like.

Love Fafnir.
We mailed it right away superfast airmail using Chris's credit card (Chris was asleep and groaning after work, we poked him with a stick a few times an yelled "CHRIS! Hey Chris! CHRIS! Usin your credit card! CHRIS!" so it's OK) and we got this email back:

hey fafnir! man you rock. them salsa brownies were delicious man. keep on with that thing you do.

haven't talked to the boys about it yet but what's six hundred thousand billion dollars between friends? cahsier's check ok for you dude? anythin for the fafman!

Hooray! What enlightened times we live in to have such an enlightened leader leading us. To enlightenment. I feel a big bag of hope comin on now.
posted by fafnir at 9:33 PM



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