Monday, September 22, 2003

I am back and I am big and I am Fafnir hooraaaaaay!

I have been gettin a lot of email askin' me "where are you Fafnir" and "how come you're gone so long Fafnir" and "Fafnir come back to us we are lonely because you are not here with your constant bloggin and talkin! Come back come back come back Fafnir!"

Well I am back now and I am rested and ready and I am big. To quote from the classical literary masterwork Pat the Bunny, "How big is bunny? Sooooo big!"

So I hear you asking, "where were you then Fafnir while all of us were going crazy with the lack of Fafnir then? why did you put us through this Fafnirless agony?" That is a very good question and a very long story and I will tell you it right now.

You see some months ago I was walkin along with Chris and Giblets and a big car pulls up and this voice says "Hey there lil Fafnir know what you need? Is a trip to a nice relaxing medical spa to recuperate from your long months and such of working and toiling for Chris and the Universe." And I was thinkin "Maybe that'd be a good idea" and Chris says "that'd be a GREAT idea Fafnir you should go right NOW NOW NOW" and he sends me off with this strange person who it turns out is made of tentacles and large bugs.

Well the spa was kinda relaxing but I don't know how recuperative it was because the guy made out of tentacles and bugs and maybe a pyramid with an eyeball in it had me and a bunch of other Fafnirs all sewing shoes in a sweatshop. "Make more shoes," the man made of tentacles and bugs and a pyramid with an eye in it and Donald Rumsfeld said. "Nike needs five thousand of these by midnight! Mush, Fafnirs! Mush!"

So I wasn't all that sure of the effectiveness of the program endorsed by the guy made of tentacles and bugs and a pyramid with an eye and Donald Rumsfeld and tumors, so I snuck out at night and started headin home, but I wasn't sure which way was home, and I hitched rides across the country in a Long and Winding Journey of Self-Discovery and For the True Meaning of America Too.

And then I came back and Chris was all "Fafnir! Fafnir! where have you been I am so sorry I sent you off to that horrible man made of tentacles and bugs and a pyramid with an eyeball in it and Donald Rumsfeld and tumors and Kevin Smith movies!" and I said "It's ok Chris I forgive you, now let's all eat some pie!" and we did. And Giblets hadn't updated my blog all summer even though he said he was gonna so he has to make up for it by guest-blogging from now on.

I gotta lot of work to do now that I'm back, like getting the President to pass legislation to put money into Inclined Farcel research (I suspect the Big Energy Lobby is holding it back) and like interviewing all the Presidential candidates and saving all bananas. But I will do it because I am Fafnir and I can do that stuff.

Chris says I have to help him with his new website too. Fooey. I'm gonna help with the bananas first.

I am so glad to be back, hooray!
posted by fafnir at 9:43 AM



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