Friday, April 18, 2003

Sunday is my birthday! Everybody give me presents!

"But Fafnir," you say because you are very observant, "Sunday is Easter! I will be busy doing Eastery things like playing with candy eggs and decorating trees made of licorice and baking children in pies!"
That's all good, you, but do you know WHY you celebrate Easter every year?
"Cause Jesus came back from the dead?"
No! Don't make me hit you with the waffle cause I will!
"Cause of the easter bunny?"
That's it! Here comes the waffle! Giblets bring out the waffle!
"Please do not hit me with the waffle Fafnir! I want to hear where Easter comes from!"

OK then. Easter - listen up - IS FAFNIR'S BIRTHDAY. Every year people celebrate Fafnir's birthday with the bunnies and the painted eggs and the candy and the horrible children. It is Part Of My Grand Design.

"So what about Jesus?" says you. "Didn't he die for my sins."

Well I dunno but back in the day I sent Jesus a post card sayin "Hey Jesus my birthday's comin up, if you're plannin on dyin and comin back jus' dont do it on my birthday, OK? Cause Fafnir's birthday is for Fafnir. Thanks Jesus! Love, Fafnir." And he went and died and came back on my birthday anyway. So Jesus may have died for your sins but he was very rude to me doin it.

So Sunday celebrate Fafnir's birthday with the eggs and the bunnies and the candy and the children-pies and the GIVING ME PRESENTS. Jesus would want you to do that if he wasn't so busy being Jesus. I bet he's real sorry for crashing my birthday.
posted by fafnir at 8:41 AM




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