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Friday, April 11, 2003
So I was in this store a Chris's, an I saw this duck, and I squeezed the duck, cause, y'know, why not? You squeeze ducks, that's what I do, I squeeze ducks. An I squeeze the duck and it goes "quaaaack" like a duck which is all very nice and pleasing. And next to the duck there is a cow and I squeeze it and it goes "mooooooo" like a cow. And I think "Well I'm pickin up on the pattern here!" and then there's a hippo next to the cow and when I squeeze it, it makes a giggly sound, "heegle hee heegle hee!" like a baby.
The hippo making baby noises got me kind of upset and confused and scared and fuzzy-feeling and strange all at once and I didn't like it. "Bad hippo!" I said. "Stop being a baby!" I figured that might've made it learn its lesson but when I tried again it still made baby sounds. "Bad hippo!" I said. "Bad, bad hippo!" When happy baby noises are comin out of a hippo it's just not right, it means either a baby's turned into a hippo or a hippo's turnin into a baby or a hippo's eaten a baby. That's the one I figured on accounta the hippo was real fat. Well the people who ran the store were gettin mad at me, like "Sir you can't yell at the hippo sir please" and I tried tellin em that I wasn't the one who ate a baby, y'know. But Chris told me it'd be best if we just went on our little way before they threw us out. People always make funny faces at me in stores. I said goodbye to the hippo and the baby before we left. It still laughed. I guess the baby didn't mind being eaten by the hippo. I will never understand babies.
posted by fafnir at 12:40 AM
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