Wednesday, December 2, 2009

"You think there's life on other planets?" says me.
"Nah, Giblets checked already," says Giblets.
"Are you sure?" says me. "Maybe you missed a spot."
"Sure I'm sure," says Giblets. "Here, lemme show you. Hey! Hey you! You up there! Hey! Hey you! You! Hey! Hey you!"
We wait around a while. "See?" says Giblets. "Nothin."
"Maybe they're just a little shy," says me.
"Nuts to your shy!" says Giblets. "If they were really out there in space with their space-cars and their space-guns and their metal-bikini-wearing space-babes they would totally come over here to show off all their space-stuff and make us feel like losers! That's just science!"
"Well you can't argue with science," says me.
"No you can't," says Giblets.
"Well maybe they dropped by some time when we were out at the store and they rang the doorbell and hung around and were all like 'Oh well let's just leave a crop circle on the doorknob'," says me.
"You talk crazy talk!" says Giblets. "The first thing they'd do is look for the key under the moon and break into the earth and steal all our best oceans and continents!"
"Well maybe they didn't want our stuff," says me. "Maybe they already have a Greenland, or maybe the Pacific was the wrong color."
"Well at the very least they would've eaten us," says Giblets. "Just look at us, all marbled with succulent fat and dripping with tasty earth juices!"
"Maybe they're vegans," says me. "Or maybe we taste all weird an gamey."
"Well what's the point of being bigger than someone else if you're not gonna kill them or take their stuff!" says Giblets.
"Maybe they're not bigger," says me. "Maybe they're just things like birds and bugs and fish and us."
"Well that's just stupid and boring and stupid and lame and Giblets is going home!" says Giblets.
I wait around a while. A little after sunset a big bright saucer lands in the park and a thing comes out.
"Kthp gn unngko?" it says.
"Nah, it's the next one over," says me.
"Klbbyp nom," it says and flies away.
"Stupid birds," says me.


posted by fafnir at 10:26 AM

And then they crap all over your dashboard.
by Anonymous mister moose, at December 02, 2009 11:29 AM
Klbbyp nom, Fafnir.
by Anonymous Anonymous, at December 02, 2009 3:24 PM
Apparently whales could become the first creatures from another planet (their water planet) we ever get to talk to. That would put exobiology into a whole new perspective. We could ask their advice on ethics, and is there a god, and where has he been?
So. A wandering spaceship is cruising the back trails of the galaxy. Doing a little wilderness expidition in the odd spiral arm when they pick up a bit of Luis Armstrong on the radio. Entranced they decide to check it out.

Cruising in from out in the boonies they pick up all of our transmissions from the last ninety years. WWII, the moon shot, every episode of Gilligan's Island, Jaques Coustou and Star Trek but also every cop show, news broadcast and television preacher. Coming closer the airwaves are filled with likes of Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck. They stop horrified.

tRog67_ Did you catch that last bit. They seem to have been infected with a really nasty meme there. That planet has a bad fever and it's burning itself up. Did you see what happened to the coral? Where'd the northern ice cap go?

Yog9xcvx_No joke. That infection is working overtime raising the temperature and killing off all the expressive tissue. There are only few good immune cells left down there and they're hopelessly outnumbered by the muck.

tRog67_ We could drop a neutron pulse and sterilize the infection? What say we do a kindness?

Yog9xcvx_ Nah, they only have a few galactic seconds left anyway. Let the good bits have one last chance however small to fix it.

tRog67_ Well scrub the damn file and toss that storage module overboard. If customs here's we were near a place like this they'll quarrantine us.

Yog9xcvx_Done. don't look back man. That's ugly.

v'word: diess
Chinese spammers sense our life force and move in for the great slurp...

This is the end! I love you
Fafnir almost got it.

The whole problem is that we're made out of meat.
by Anonymous joel hanes, at December 03, 2009 8:13 AM
How do you know what Vegans eat, if they refuse to answer our phone calls? They aren't so many light years away, so they could answer if you'd just wait a little bit longer.
by Anonymous Anonymous, at December 04, 2009 1:44 PM
Thanks for the meat joel and aa, I hadn't seen that before. rb
Coconut shy? I haven't played that in ages!
For me Fafnir, there's no more life in other planets except the "heavnely bodies". But I do believe there is life in other universe and more advanced compare to us. This so called the "alien".
So this alien you called the "fallen angels"? hhmm, sounds so interesting topic huh!


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