Sunday, February 19, 2006

It's a great day for some light huntin an there's a flappin sound in the trees an Dick Cheney sees his shot and takes it. Oh no! That wasn't a pheasant - it was Iraq! How does he keep mixin those up, he really needs to get those bifocals his optometrist talked about. He decides not to call the police until trained medical technicians can perform an emergency oilectomy. In the meantime he heads out to look for a suspiciously Iran-shaped duck.

There's some good golf at Abu Ghraib an Dick Cheney's workin his way across the back nine when his swing goes wide an hits a few dozen of his favorite detainees repeatedly in the head, arms and legs before chainin em to the floor to die of exposure. Oh no! What has he done, how will he ever forgive himself, how come this happens every time he stops by a military prison! He decides not to call the police on accounta this ice cream headache he's got.

It's a bright spring afternoon an Dick Cheney's kickin back an relaxin with a good ol fashioned round of invasion an occupation when he accidentally kills thirty thousand Iraqi civilians. Oh no! It is the worst day of his life, why wasn't it him, God, why wasn't it - oh wait, it's just foreigners. Whew! He decides to skip callin the police an heads home to watch a coupla episodes a Law & Order, which is sorta like callin the police if you think about it.
posted by fafnir at 3:47 PM



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