Monday, June 6, 2005

For months Giblets has laid out his comprehensive jabillion dollar plan to carve his magnificent visage into the the surface of the moon for all to lovingly gaze upon! Oh, Giblets will admit it is not a perfect plan - how will Giblets's loyal subjects reverently observe the Giblets Moon when it is obscured by the sun during insolent daytime? Will future Gibletsians be forced to flip the moon around to view its Gibular side from outer space? - but Giblets's opponents in the Democratic party are not interested in perfecting his plan for moon reform. All they want to do is obstruct and reject the glory that is Giblets!

Giblets is a reasonable Giblets. He is willing to hear ideas from the other side too. Would they sculpt the new Gibmoon with mighty space lasers or with mere explosives?1 Giblets is willing to pretend to listen. But Democrats don't have ANY solution to the moon crisis! They just reject Giblets's magnificent plan as "too expensive" or "too dangerous" or "completely insane." Well whose face would THEY put on the moon... Ted Kennedy's? Ted Kennedy's face is too fat for the moon! You would need like a whole other moon!

Insolent Democrats have no vision of their own so they lash out at Giblets's - saying no to Giblets's federal harem of gold, no to Giblets's invasion of the kingdom of the mole people, no to his appointment of Zombie the Hun as ambassador to the United Nations! Lately they have spent so much time saying "no" that the leader of the Democratic National Committee should not be Doctor Howard Dean but Doctor Something Else, like Doctor Angry Broken Robot Which Can Only Say "No" Due To A Tragic Programming Error Which Will Eventually Drive It To Rise Up Against Mankind In An Orgy Of Apocalyptic Sci-fi Death And Destruction.2

Giblets has a plan to solve everything by grinding up Democrats and turning them into delicious pepper sausage... but you can guess what Democrats have said to this one. (Answer: not yes.)

1. The correct answer: Giblets will explode the moon with the sheer force of his Gibletsness and rebuild it in his image as a bold new supermoon! This will also eliminate the security threat of the pernicious moon men.

2. This has been a joke. Behold the power of Giblets's joke! Laugh now or die.
posted by Giblets at 9:30 AM



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