Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Well we're back an I gotta say it has been a productive few days off! We spent it doin research for my upcomin journalistic novel I Am Easily Amazed: The Shocking Scandal of Promiscuity on American College Campuses. It is about an innocent southern blogger who attends an elite southern college an is drawn into its shockin lack of traditional values an social morays.

But it is not just an excitin novel chock-full of rivetin true-to-life characters! It is also a big important expose of our dark an amoral college culture.


  • That sometimes college students do not go through full formal courtship rituals but instead "hook up" with random guys or girls?
  • or sometimes guys AND girls?! I saw it in a movie!
  • Also college students are trained to speak in a "code" called "political correctness." "African-american" is code for "black." "Latino-american" is code for "hispanic." "Is there no help for the widow's son?" is a secret passphrase which gets you into the Temple of Solomon.
  • Sometimes three or more students will gather together to "Pull a Thugman," which means to find a student with the name "Thugman" and pull his head off. This behavior is encouraged by faculty and staff.
  • Once a month college lesbians meet under a full moon to summon a magical talking goat with mysterious powers! The lesbians dance around the goat an then place a new recruit in a giant egg which the goat plants in the ground. One week later, the egg hatches! This is where new lesbians come from.

    All this causes the Terrible Moral Decay That Faces Our Nation especially the egg part. If you buy one book this year, buy Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell. If you buy two books this year, buy Chain of Command. Or maybe Imperial Hubris. But if you buy three books this year, definitely buy If on a Winter's Night a Traveler. That book is just really amazing. But if you buy like nine or ten or twenty books this year, buy my book about college kids havin sex.
  • posted by fafnir at 5:02 PM



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