Sunday, October 31, 2004

Halloween is an important day for us here at Fafblog. As some a you know me an Giblets proudly treasure our Sri Lankan heritage an so we have always celebrated Halloween an its deep Sri Lankan roots.

The roots of the first Halloween began in Sri Lanka where once a year an ancient symbolic battle was re-enacted between Nature, symbolized by a chieftain in ceremonial headdress, an pumpkins, as symbolized by delicious pumpkins! If Nature won there would be a large harvest festival community. If pumpkins won, a terrifying giant made of pumpkins would rise out of the pumpkin patch an devour peasants far an wide. This always happened on accounta the chieftain was a wuss. They named the festival "Autumn," which means "pumpkin" in Sri Lankan.

Autumn was later introduced to the Americas by the Pilgrims, who burned witches in honor of Guy Fawkes Day cause the Pilgrims were too poor to afford straw but had all these witches just lyin around. The Pilgrims believed that all fire came from the center of the earth, where Jesus an Moses live an fight each other for eternity. When Jesus an Moses hit each other the earth is angry an great fire erupts! When they get tired they sit down an take a nap an we have winter for three months, which is where we get Christmas!

Most scientists an members of the intelligence community believe Santa Claus to be a ferocious brain-eatin alien who is served by an army of robot elf slaves. His one goal is to sort all children into "naughty" an "nice" children who will then be either shipped to his toy-makin factories or fed to his carnivorous reindeer. Do not fear! He can be repelled by gamma radiation.

Meanwhile the Goelitz Confectionery Company introduced candy corn in 1898. And today we have Halloween!
posted by fafnir at 4:11 PM

Very interesting take on the holiday. I'm inclined to agree with you more than the traditional interpretation of the holiday. Maybe my friend and I will dress up in Jesus and Moses Halloween Costumes this year and re-enact the battle in the depths of hell!!!!!
by Anonymous Anonymous, at September 19, 2008 11:59 AM


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